Why the Hell Should I Meditate? It Sucks! ;)

For a long time now, I've kept a strong perspective that meditation is not just about stress reduction and 'finding peace.' That begs the question, then what the hell do you meditate for? Dalai Lama makes it clear that meditation is for finding peace, but friends, he's holding something back. He's keeping his message simple as he 'tucks you into bed.' When I saw him speak (11 years ago!), the first thing out of his mouth was something like, "Why do we sit to meditate? If you don't have a reason, you won't succeed because there will be nothing to succeed at. We meditate to get more peaceful, kind, and compassionate." I've long responded to this with "peace, kindness, and compassion are the 'automatic' reflexes of an opened mind."

Here's what 20 years of meditation has gotten me. I know how to look very deeply. And you know what? It hurts like fucking hell! The good thing is, I know I'm not alone. It's just that most meditation people don't talk about this stuff. Pema Chodron does, though, and Thich Nhat Hanh, and Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche, of course. I can look at anything with an empty mind, even my deeply panicked states. I can examine my worst mind-states while in the midst of them. This can be troublesome because I tend to make the big mistake of blaming myself for others' problems. I look deeply, but sometimes I misinterpret and come to an erroneous view that I am just a troublemaker for my wife, kids, and everyone else. If I'm seeing it that way, I'm not looking deeply enough. Deeper, deeper, dig, dig lol! But it's true. I keep looking because the deeper I look, the more I understand. Looking is understanding. Understanding is love. 

  -Champa Choga